As a therapist working mostly within the queer and trans community, I know too well how precarious many people’s lives have felt even before the most recent attacks on our rights. I have often questioned my role as a therapist: What can therapy offer when what you most urgently need is access to hormones and surgeries, basic support from the people in your life, and the unconditional safety to be able to go out and live your life without being debated, harassed, and attacked? I dream of a time when trans people come to therapy to explore all the different things we might need to process in life that are not ‘trying to figure out how to survive in a hostile environment’. But until then, I want to use my skills and knowledge to help us build as much resistance as possible.

Resistance and mental health

Mental health is not just personal – it is political and collective. Oppressive conditions require us to do two things at once. We need to protect our lives and wellbeing from the harm they cause, and simultaneously fight for changing the conditions that harm us. From my experience in the fields of both therapy and activism, I have learned that in this process resistance and mental health are deeply connected: Engaging in resistance can help us bring about political change and at the same time make us feel better. And in a context of attacks on our very livelihoods, to insist on caring for ourselves and each other is an act of resistance as well. The key is to do this together. Our connection with each other is something that can not be taken away from us. It is also perhaps the most important protection of our collective and individual wellbeing that we have right now.

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, here’s some ways of practicing resistance that might feel helpful. Please read these as possibilities and invitations, a resource you can turn to when you need it and make use of in the way that works for you at a given moment.

Resist despair: seek out connection & action

Systems of oppression rely on our despair and hopelessness. Every minute we spend doom scrolling is time and energy that we can reclaim for doing something small for ourselves and each other:

  • Reach out to other trans people: attend a social meeting, join a group in person or online, such as the free groups run by Not A Phase.
  • Share the news about support and solidarity that you see, and make time to really take these in.
  • Call a helpline or look for trans-led support such as gendered intelligence.
  • Take action: Attend a protest, join a mutual aid group, write to your MP, sign a petition. You can find some ideas for actions here.
  • Take time for rest and play: go for a walk, cook dinner with friends, watch your favourite show, curl up with a book, lie in the sun, dance through the night … remember: everything is better than engaging with the hate.

It can be important to stay informed and we might be in situations where we need to be vigilant about hateful conversations happening around us. But we can create more protection and control by:

  • Choosing the media and format we use to access important news, such as the Queer AF newsletter or the What The Trans podcast.
  • Asking cis allies to monitor things for us and give us filtered information. They can for example help us by monitoring social media of people we are connected to for hostile comments, monitoring general media coverage for key information, or researching what kinds of spaces are supportive and inclusive and which ones we might need to avoid.

Resist their narrative: lead with your own position

Every time we respond to an oppressive narrative (like the one framing trans women as a threat to cis women) we risk repeating this harmful narrative and giving it validity. If we do want to speak out, be it in our personal life or more publicly, it can be more helpful (and indeed effective) to instead start from our own position and share our expertise, experience, and vision: What is it that we are fighting for? What does safety and inclusion look like for us? How is this connected with safety and inclusion for other and overlapping marginalised groups? What are good examples of how this looks in practice?

Resist urgency burnout: continue your life

When drastic things happen, we understandably feel an urgency to react, and to stop everything else that we are doing. While some immediate actions are important, effective, and empowering, most of what we need to do is strategic and long term. And we can only do this when we take good care of ourselves and each other in the process, continue our lives as much as possible, and deepen our connections and networks.

Remember that you do not need to solve this on your own, it will always be a collective struggle. A lot of groups are already doing great work for trans rights and most of these will need all the help they can get in the next months and beyond. This can include money & fundraising, resources, time, organising, admin, community care, specialist expertise, and much more. If you want to do something, think about what would feel most sustainable, effective, and also bring you joy and connection with others.

Our existence is resistance

And finally, if you are in a place right now where your struggle is to make it through the next day or night, and to find a way to get up again: You are not alone. There is support out there and people who want to help. Be gentle with yourself. There are times when getting a night of sleep is resistance, getting up again in the morning (or afternoon) is resistance, eating a meal is resistance, and telling someone that you need help is resistance.